3/19/11

Acts of Entitlement



These apostles are the biggest freeloaders I ever heard of. First there's Jesus, saying don't even take a clean pair of socks (Luke 10:11), just mooch off the people you're preaching to. Then in Acts 9:43 Peter moves in with some guy named Simon, still doesn't get a job, just lounges around letting people wait on him hand and foot (10:10). Three strangers show up, and Petey-boy invites them in to spend the night. At Simon's house.


Imagine Jehovah's witnesses come knocking on your door but instead of giving you crappy literature, they want a place to stay. Then imagine you're on powerful drugs so you let them, and head on off to work, cuz hey, somebody has to. Then when you come home the place is full of riffraff Jesus freaks, eating your bread, drinking your wine, and praising the Lard. Wouldn't you be a little pissed? I would, I'd go all Old Testament on their asses.


Listen to these overentitled bigheads dissing the help.

Acts 6:1-2 “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables.

Wasn't too long ago their boss was washing their feet (John 13), looks like they learned the wrong lesson: “Lookit me, I'm such hot shit I've got God washing my feet for me. I'm way too important to sink to the level of this lowly waitress here.” Then he didn't leave a tip and pinched her ass on the way out. 

This  must be the source of the old Christain tradition of  being lousy tippers.

That whole chapter 6 put a knot in my panties. In between murdering people for not giving them all their money, and stiffing the widows on the food rations, Peter's mob elected seven guys as waitstaff. One of them was a flake named Stephen, who couldn't have bussed many tables because the whole next chapter is about him running around preaching. First Peter walked off his job as a fisherman, now this one bails. Bunch of Spongebubs, too good to work for a living.
Not all the apostles prospered



**the bug is a kind of grasshopper from Ecuador. Via Ugly Overload.

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